It’s no secret that relationships require active participation from both sides in order for the relationship to work. But what happens when there is something preventing you from working on yourself? Are you then able to effectively invest in others? What happens when you are constantly seeking advice from your friends and family, instead of just existing in their company? Are they able to then effectively invest in you? What if you are dissatisfied with your friend circle, and you want to start investing in new friendships, but the task seems too daunting to take on yourself?
Discovering the role that you play
Understanding the power that you have in dictating the direction of your relationships is a key component to having relationships. It’s important to know the role that you play in any relationship. Are you the ‘caring’ one? The ‘complainer’? The one that people can always count on?
Establishing the role
Once you have objectively established your role, you can begin to unravel and understand separate dynamics at play. This will allow for a deeper understanding of why certain issues in your relationships occur, why you and your spouse, friend, or family member butt heads.
How is the role established?
The role is established with virtually no work from your end. After a few counseling sessions, your counselor who is trained to look for relationship dynamics and personality types will pick it up. This is no ‘labeled’ technique or anything you need to ask her to do- it’s just part of the natural flow of counseling.
What does this mean for you?
Once you are aware of the way that you act and react, most importantly, you can then start implementing change! This change needn’t always be a deep sort of self-work. Sometimes, the change that needs to take place is as simple as communicating your desires in a different way or simply taking a step back from a situation. These things may sound like no-brainers and maybe they are, but it’s no secret that it’s far easier to take the wisdom of another than your own.
Dissatisfaction in friendships
Feeling dissatisfied in friendships is a very normal thing. It’s easy to jump to the conclusion of just cutting these friendships out and starting to cultivate new ones. While this is true for intensely toxic relationships and while it’s never a bad thing to make new friends, dynamic change is possible, even if it seems impossible. A counselor’s job is to help their client see things objectively- as they are; and to accept the reality of the situation. This is a very simple thing that has an enormous impact on friendships because it allows you to see things based on fact and not based on the emotions tied to the situation.
If none of these scenarios are applicable to you, counseling will still indirectly have a positive impact on your personal relationships. Counseling is a great tool that will help you let go of insecurities and fears, identify scenarios that would otherwise set you off, and cope with stress in healthy ways.
Your counselor is your mediator
It’s a natural human process to make assumptions about other people’s intentions and reasons behind what they do. This causes an unintentional divide that could be avoided by discussion. Sometimes we don’t know how to go about chats like this, and we need advice on methods of deflecting conflict before it happens. It’s also helpful to play out possible scenarios and ways of reacting to each. Counseling helps us to understand others just as much as it helps us to understand ourselves.