It is not easy to become a parent. We have to have that considerable patience that we need to try hard not to break. Our responsibilities are endless, so we have to make sure that everything we do benefits our family, especially our children. But like any other individual, we often come to the point that everything about life is too much to handle. That even if we understand what to do, we always end up messing things around because it happens to be part of nature. And one of those inevitable struggles is handling a rebellious child. So for those parents out there, here are some of the ways to deal with that issue.
Let Them Speak Their Anger Towards Us
“Rebellion in teens can be secretive or obvious depending on the personality of the teenager and the circumstances.” Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC said. However, the problems sometimes are not on the child. Unfortunately, we as parents contribute a lot to his emotional and mental dilemma. You see, the more we do not allow the child to speak his mind only because we feel disrespected is bullshit. Not because we’re parents, it does not mean our child must rely on his obligation not to hurt our feelings. It is never okay for the kid to suppress his thoughts and emotions to make sure we do not feel uncomfortable or distressed. And even if the child is angry, we need to realize that he needs to let it out. As parents, we need to hear those complaints and then do something about it.
Give The Child Space And Never Provoke Him
“There is an ongoing debate about whether or not teenagerhood is a cultural phenomenon or whether it is a description of a transformation that occurs mentally and emotionally during adolescence.” Richard Zwolinski, LMHC said. What is more undeniably unbelievable is when we look at ourselves as the controller of everything. There is this mentality that because a child is only a kid who cannot make individual decisions, we feel allowed to provoke him. Even if our actions impact his emotions, we assume it is not a big deal because “we are parents,” after all. We feel entitled to do whatever we want because we believe we know better. Allow me to break it, but we have to give our kids space. Our parenting styles tend to be different from the rest of other parents. So what will make you believe that a single method will work and create the same outcome for every rebellious child?
Do Not Get Back To The Child By Hurting His Feelings
It is funny because no parents will admit this stuff. The thing is, most parents cannot handle the truth. So when the kid bursts out of his agitation and blames the parents for everything, parents break down and feel the humiliation. But since these parents are somewhat entitled, instead of internalizing the words that came out wrong from the child, these inconsiderate parents get back to him. Parents either tell the kid to shut up, accuse him of lying and disrespecting or sometimes throw shades at him. It happens all the time, but no parents would admit that. “Getting angry, becoming emotional, crying, laying guilt trips, or even nervously laughing are all inappropriate emotions during discipline.” Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC explains.
I am not implying that parenting should be perfect. But when handling a rebellious kid, everything is different. All things require a lot of immeasurable effort, patience, as well as understanding.