When A Marriage Collapses, What Happens To The Children?
You can’t expect your child to be happy with your divorce. I mean, did you think he’d smile when you tell him that you and your spouse are splitting up? Come on. It’s your child’s life too. If you two get divorced, and your child is still a minor, there will be a lot of problems underway.
Now, this article is about the long-term effects of divorce on your children. There is also a blog on this site containing the short-term effects of divorce on your kids. Read this article and the other one, as well. You might gain knowledge on the manifestation of these effects and get the help that your needs instantly. Because “Divorce is not something that should never be entered into lightly. It means an end to that relationship and the breakup of a family, which can be greatly traumatizing to the children of that marriage.” Jennifer Baxt, LMFT, LMHC said.
Behavioral And Social Problems
One of the short-term effects of divorce on a child is volatility which affects his behavior to the highest level. If you don’t address this as soon as possible, this can significantly affect the child’s behavioral and social skills. Furthermore, social skills are learned first through the parents, and if you’re divorcing, your child won’t have two parents to guide him every single day.
If there are adverse changes in your child’s behavior, bring him to a behavioral therapist or counselor immediately. These experts will know what to do and how to help your child through your divorce. If this is left untreated, your child may grow up with mental health issues (bipolar disorder, dissociative identity disorder, and more) spawning from your split-up.
Trouble With Relationships
It is one of the saddest effects on a child because of his parent’s divorce. If a child, at a young age, sees a relationship fail, then there is a significant chance that he will grow up not believing in marriage and commitment. The kid may have a negative connotation regarding relationships which will affect how your child interacts with people, romantically speaking. Therefore, “Don’t fall into the trap of sharing divorce details or your angry feelings about your ex with your older kids. Their own anxiety and need for control causes them to be ‘understanding’ of what you’re going through, but you need to be the parent.” M. Gary Neuman, LMHC said.
The only way to fix this is through therapy. Your child must understand that your failed marriage is not a failed life. A counselor may be able to intervene in that aspect.
Poor Education And Socio-Economic Status
When a child feels anxious and starts to lose interest in school activities, your kid can grow up without proper study habits or an excellent extracurricular background. Education and other activities are essential for a child to develop himself as a person, and your divorce can that take that away from him.
You have to do everything in your power to make things as regular as possible. It will be tough, but you have to do it for the sake of your child. These are the problems that divorce brings with you, and your child will bear all the effects of it. If you’re worried that his school interest will take a toll, then visit a learning specialist or a child counselor.
Frustration and anxiety, as well as depression, all rooted from the divorce of parents, can lead to substance abuse. These mental health issues can push a kid to look for an alley to release his painful feelings and forget the family problem. If not guided well, substance abuse can take on that role, and that is something that you do not want to happen.
If you suspect that your child may be into drugs and alcohol, then put a stop to it immediately. Contact a substance abuse counselor for more details.
Understand that “Depression is different from passing sadness or temporary frustration with life’s issues. There are number of common signs for depression and they tend to be persistent.” Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC said. As mentioned above, intense sadness brought about by the loss of a parent due to divorce can result in depression. Depression is a critical mental health disease that can push your child to massive problems, the worst being self-harming and suicide.
If you see that your child is extremely sad, always angry, or never goes out of bed for more than two weeks, then he is depressed. Take your child to a therapist straight away.