Every teenager is different, but their needs are all the same. All of them are learning and figuring out life as it is. Some become strong enough to handle pressure and stress, while others get easily affected emotionally and mentally. However, with all the uncertainty, our duty as parents is to care for our young adults despite their sometimes irrational and impulsive attitudes.
So let’s discuss the fundamentals of handling teenagers.
Every relationship requires bonding. It is a fundamental need to get to know each other better. Bonding is a way that we parents can show our young adults that we are more than willing to adjust and learn their ways no matter what the differences are. It is the best time to show them that we will always spare a special moment for them despite our busy lives as parents. Understandably, we can’t give them all our time and energy since we need to also cater to their other needs. But we can consider working on some of some activities that both our kids and us can enjoy, such as:
- Watch movies or TV series.
- Take cooking or swimming lessons.
- Go hiking or schedule outdoor trips
- Enjoy singing or dancing
- Play video or online games
Talking or having a meaningful conversation with our young adults is fundamental that we always have to practice. There is not much to emphasize since communication has always been the issue with a parent-child relationship. As parents, we have to understand that our teens can sometimes go through phases in their personal lives that they are not comfortable sharing with us. We shouldn’t feel disheartened or disappointed because part of our young adults’ development is building trust and confidence in people. Regardless if we are the parents, we are not exempted. Instead of forcing and convincing them to discuss personal things with us, it would be nice to allow them to feel emotionally ready to open up. We have to make sure that when the time comes that they want to communicate, we listen attentively.
As parents, we sometimes decide things for our teens because we believe we know everything. Usually, we make decisions based on our personal experiences and not related to our young adult’s needs. When we think about it, the result of that action often makes our kids retaliate. That instead of following or obeying us, they tend to become rebellious. It is vital that instead of controlling them, we allow them to choose whatever their heart desires. Of course, not every decision is correct and beneficial. But as parents, we need to allow them to commit mistakes so they can learn their lessons even if they had to deal with it the hard way. Some might not agree with me on this, but it would be nice that we let our young adults face reality and the harshness of life instead of consoling them with fakeness and lies.
Our young adults are aware of their surroundings, contrary to the idea that they do not know what they are doing. Of course, they do. Our kids are smart enough to understand what is right and wrong. But sometimes, we can’t reassure ourselves that they will not engage in negative activities. But as parents who were once young adults, we understand the importance of exposure. We know that once we let go loosely of our teenagers, there’s the possibility of them getting trapped from whatever it is that makes them behave negatively. But if we’ll also hold the grip tight, they might retaliate and hurt themselves just to let go. It would be nice for us parents to stay in the middle. We can work on our parenting styles related to exposure with the tips below.
- Allow teens to go out provided with a curfew.
- Letting them spend time with friends that are known or introduced in the family
- Permit young adults to participate in social activities
- Let them take responsibility for their actions
One thing that ruins the parent-child relationship is expectations. It is normal for us parents to think positively and exceedingly of our kids. Normally, we aim high for their bright future. However, we should not let our high hopes reach unrealistic goals. Our young adults might have potential, but they are not perfect. They will commit mistakes and make bad decisions in their lives, and we have to be okay with that. We should never let them feel that they are incapable just because they fail once or twice. Our obligation as parents is to ensure that they believe in their self abilities as much as we believe in them.
Young adults may seem complicated to handle, but the truth is, parents already know what to do. Some struggle because they find it hard to distinguish between reasons and excuses. With that particular issue, these fundamentals can guarantee help with parenting.